I’m done putting up a fight.
I don’t want to have to keep explaining myself to fit the view of what you feel is acceptable.
I just want to be myself.
Codependency is a self-destructive crime of passion.
No one can hurt you when you are constantly hurting yourself.
Where’s the time?
And so with that thought in mind, It must mean that it would take no time or effort at all to hurt you.
Because you place so much importance on others and how they view you, if they love you, accept you, want you, need you, and only you.
It can’t not end in complete disappointment.
I often have said that if you depend on anyone for anything, they will surely have no other choice but to let you down.
And not because they want to, not by any means, on purpose.
Depending on anyone for anything is impossible.
You can try, but no one can give you what you cannot give yourself.
That’s where we have a problem.
If you can’t give it to yourself, why is that?
You must be having a rather difficult time finding it.
Whatever it is.
You don’t even know, and so how can you believe for a minute that anyone else in the world can know.
And that’s another huge problem with codependency:
You give another person the role of knowing and also being what it is that you need to feel loved, happy, important, worthy.
And not because that person goes on a power hungry, manipulative control tip becoming some dominant personality type trying to suppress your natural being for their own personal gain; rather, this person cannot even begin to understand how to keep someone happy or make it work with someone who doesn’t have a clue where they stand, in the world, or in themselves.
There is no relationship, for a person like this, that can ever be genuinely fulfilling.
At first, when you are pretending and changing inside everything you can to relate and make the other happy- that is not happiness, that is relief.
Relief when he/she gives you that smile of approval.
But sheer panic yet again, once they look away too quickly for you to feel confident enough in.
Loving yourself and realizing your own worth is never going to be easy.
It’s never going to be POSSIBLE, attempted time and time again, through the lens of any individual who is not your own self.